Weeping Forward...

These past two days have definitely been the most challenging since we have been here. Today is day 12 in the hospital and we were beginning to feel like we were going in circles. Our doctors seemed to be in a power struggle over what was the best care for us and Julia. For the sake of transparency I should say that everyday in here has not been easy. Lately I have leaned more to the side of "the glass is half empty."

In times like these all of the "churchy" phrases go through my head..."Trials are for our good," "You are right where God wants you to be," "This is not taking God by surprise," etc. You know what I am talking about. Those things are so very true and so very encouraging but there are those days when you just don't want to hear them...hopefully my transparency isn't putting me out there by myself on this one :) I really do believe those things...I just had a moment of disregard for them. Ok...no more "Debbie Downer."

All of that brings me to the Bible study I have been doing. It is called "Ruth: Loss, Love, and Legacy" by Kelly Minter. If you are looking for study material then go get this! One of the days last week was called "Weeping Forward." She spoke of the journey that Ruth made away from what was familiar and comfortable for her. Her husband, brother-in-law, and father-in-law had all died and she was traveling with her mother-in-law...talk about being in despair!! She kept going forward in spite of what she was facing.

So...what lesson did I learn from all of this you might ask? Well, even though we don't have any clear answers on our current situation, we are in a place that is completely unfamiliar, and we are traveling down a path that is totally unknown...God is waiting for us at the end. He wants us to keep going...even if we are weeping while we walk forward. Not only is He waiting, He is walking this with us.

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it."-James 1: 2-5 (The Message)